These past two days I have been without sugar. The closest I got was having Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast but I figure that's ok. I feel good knowing that I have made it two days. Who knew this would be so hard, weird and good all at the same time.
I find that there isn't much in the home that I can eat, with my dietary restrictions. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's helping me stay out of the kitchen more and giving me healthier options. I'm hoping to find some good recipes that will help me. I'll post them on here when I find them. I'm not sure how long I will go without sugar. Maybe if it helps a ton, it would be forever but what I'd really like to do is to moderate the sugar and not binge on it.
Last night I went to bed with a large headache. I woke up with one this morning as well. It's seemed to disappear by now but I'm prone to headaches and going through sugar withdrawals can help increase the headaches.
What I am looking forward to is a healthier me. I would like to have more energy, be less tired, sleep better, workout more and I hope that being without sugar can do this for me!!! 2 days down, a million more to go......
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
Here We Go!!!
Tonight, I've had enough. I don't want anymore headaches, I don't want any more bloating. I'm done. Tomorrow will be my first sugar free day!! I know it is going to be hard but I want to do this, I need to do this!!! My children deserve a happier, healthier Mommy!! My husband deserves a healthier, happier wife!! I deserve a happier and healthier me so here we go!!!
My weaknesses are White Chocolate Raspberry Yum Ice Cream from Tillamook. No more!!! Another weakness is Chocolate Decadence Flourless cake from Konditerai in Salem, OR. That is also No More!!! No more swedish fish candy!! I have lost all control, I eat sugar when I see it. I obsess about the sugar if it is in my home and I know where it is. My husband has tried hiding from me. But I always find it!!
At 151 lbs, this is the heaviest and unhealthiest I have been in my life. I haven't always been like this but a few events have helped me spiral downwards and I'm not going down any longer. In 2012, I was the healthiest I have been in my adult life. I felt great, had a very active life and was eating great. I fell pregnant with my third child. I had a healthy pregnancy and gained the normal weight that I was supposed to. I walked a lot during the pregnancy although I was supposed to rest due to contractions plaguing me from 18 weeks along.
In 2013 I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy. That's when the problems started. He didn't want to breastfeed. I felt like I was failing him because he wasn't interested in me at all. I didn't lose the baby weight that I wanted because of failure to nursing. I had two other children and didn't have any energy at all. I gave my self some time to recover.
In 2014 I signed up, with a friend, to do a half marathon. I gave myself 6 months to train. I was doing great, working hard, eating healthy, running a lot. I didn't just jump into training. I followed a training program, started slow and worked my way towards my goal. 4 weeks before the half marathon I felt a snap and pain. I wasn't sure what was going on so I rested for a few days. The pain never went away. A week later I went to the doctor who told me to rest, ice, ibuprofen and try running again after another week of rest.
A week later, I tried running but I couldn't make it a mile. I cried as I walked home, limping and aching!!! What was going on??
The date of the half marathon came and went and I didn't go. That was one of the hardest days of my life. I wanted so badly to run this half marathon but couldn't even run a mile. 2 weeks prior I was running 10 miles comfortably and now I can't. What the hell!!!!!
I went back to the doctor who ordered an x-ray. That's when they found a small stress-fracture in my pubic ramis. No running, no exercise, for the foreseeable future. I was given crutches to use for two weeks and then another 2 weeks of rest.
Still, the pain wouldn't leave. I went to do physical therapy but that didn't work. Followed up with an MRI which revealed the fracture as "Healing" but not "healed". Still, more pain and more rest. The weight was piling on from eating due to depression.
6 months later and I still couldn't run. I decided I needed to try. I put myself on an easy couch to 5k program. I ran for 2 minutes at a time, and worked my way up. The most I could do was run 6 minutes on the treadmill at a rate of 4.2 miles per hour. Depressing for me as it sounds, it was better than I could do but the pain was still there.
2 months later I was still not healed and received a bone scan to find out what was going on and why it wasn't healing. The results came a week later and I was not happy. I was told that my bone density was very low. Almost to the point of Osteoporosis. I am 34 years old. This is not what was supposed to happen. Guess what, I am not allowed to run again. I have to wait another 4 weeks for another x-ray. I can walk, I can do light weights, I can do the elliptical but no more running. The one thing I wanted to do.
Due to the depression, and the lack of my favorite exercise, I am now the heaviest I have been, eat more than I want and feel worse than I have ever felt in my life.
Today this all ends. I may not be able to control the running, but I can control the eating. I am going clean, no more sugar. I am already gluten-free and mostly dairy free. But now, no more sugar. Time for me to work on me and become the ME I want to be. I can't control everything but this I can.
Please help me!!!!!! I need to stick to this. For me, for my husband and for my three amazing children.
Here we go!!!!
My weaknesses are White Chocolate Raspberry Yum Ice Cream from Tillamook. No more!!! Another weakness is Chocolate Decadence Flourless cake from Konditerai in Salem, OR. That is also No More!!! No more swedish fish candy!! I have lost all control, I eat sugar when I see it. I obsess about the sugar if it is in my home and I know where it is. My husband has tried hiding from me. But I always find it!!
At 151 lbs, this is the heaviest and unhealthiest I have been in my life. I haven't always been like this but a few events have helped me spiral downwards and I'm not going down any longer. In 2012, I was the healthiest I have been in my adult life. I felt great, had a very active life and was eating great. I fell pregnant with my third child. I had a healthy pregnancy and gained the normal weight that I was supposed to. I walked a lot during the pregnancy although I was supposed to rest due to contractions plaguing me from 18 weeks along.
In 2013 I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy. That's when the problems started. He didn't want to breastfeed. I felt like I was failing him because he wasn't interested in me at all. I didn't lose the baby weight that I wanted because of failure to nursing. I had two other children and didn't have any energy at all. I gave my self some time to recover.
In 2014 I signed up, with a friend, to do a half marathon. I gave myself 6 months to train. I was doing great, working hard, eating healthy, running a lot. I didn't just jump into training. I followed a training program, started slow and worked my way towards my goal. 4 weeks before the half marathon I felt a snap and pain. I wasn't sure what was going on so I rested for a few days. The pain never went away. A week later I went to the doctor who told me to rest, ice, ibuprofen and try running again after another week of rest.
A week later, I tried running but I couldn't make it a mile. I cried as I walked home, limping and aching!!! What was going on??
The date of the half marathon came and went and I didn't go. That was one of the hardest days of my life. I wanted so badly to run this half marathon but couldn't even run a mile. 2 weeks prior I was running 10 miles comfortably and now I can't. What the hell!!!!!
I went back to the doctor who ordered an x-ray. That's when they found a small stress-fracture in my pubic ramis. No running, no exercise, for the foreseeable future. I was given crutches to use for two weeks and then another 2 weeks of rest.
Still, the pain wouldn't leave. I went to do physical therapy but that didn't work. Followed up with an MRI which revealed the fracture as "Healing" but not "healed". Still, more pain and more rest. The weight was piling on from eating due to depression.
6 months later and I still couldn't run. I decided I needed to try. I put myself on an easy couch to 5k program. I ran for 2 minutes at a time, and worked my way up. The most I could do was run 6 minutes on the treadmill at a rate of 4.2 miles per hour. Depressing for me as it sounds, it was better than I could do but the pain was still there.
2 months later I was still not healed and received a bone scan to find out what was going on and why it wasn't healing. The results came a week later and I was not happy. I was told that my bone density was very low. Almost to the point of Osteoporosis. I am 34 years old. This is not what was supposed to happen. Guess what, I am not allowed to run again. I have to wait another 4 weeks for another x-ray. I can walk, I can do light weights, I can do the elliptical but no more running. The one thing I wanted to do.
Due to the depression, and the lack of my favorite exercise, I am now the heaviest I have been, eat more than I want and feel worse than I have ever felt in my life.
Today this all ends. I may not be able to control the running, but I can control the eating. I am going clean, no more sugar. I am already gluten-free and mostly dairy free. But now, no more sugar. Time for me to work on me and become the ME I want to be. I can't control everything but this I can.
Please help me!!!!!! I need to stick to this. For me, for my husband and for my three amazing children.
Here we go!!!!
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